I am pet sitting for a family with 5 bunnies (although they only left 2 behind-one is black and white and the other is tan and a lion head), 1 golden retriever, 2 cats (1 cali and 1 orange) and a turtle. I will put pictures up once I bring my camera over here=) It has been much fun... I miss being around animals. We ALWAYS had at least 1 cat throughout my life, so it is nice. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Sir Pepo, Sanidad, Toby, and Clair... but I like the other animals too.
So, my sewing machine bust about 3 weeks ago and with the move happening I just haven't gone to get it fixed. But it just so happens that I went to a home-school co-op meeting (I might teach a drama class) and a woman came to offer sewing lessons and mentioned her husband fixed machines. So I'm going to hopefully go tomorrow to see if he can fix my machine. Very nice couple!! What a divine appointment! Thanks Daddy! Hopefully I shall get to sew beside her some day=)
I spent a few hours organizing the new place today=) When that is finished I shall put pictures up for that too=)
The place I am house-sitting has a nice keyboard and I thoroughly enjoyed playing "All I Ask Of You" -(Andrew Lloyd Weber) this morning=) That is one of the most common songs that comes to my head after I ask the Lord what He would like to hear. It really is beautiful. Especially if you think about dialoging with Him=)
I had a revelation the other day while talking with a very sweet intercessor at my church. When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray Jesus answered, "Our Father which art in heaven (looking up), hallowed be thy name (praising and looking up- getting God's perspective), Thy kingdom come and Thy will be done (looking up - His perspective) on earth (look down to earth and our situations, situations in the world) as it is in heaven (looking back up)." So the model we were given is a lot of looking up, which is how we get God's perspective, then check out what's going on with us, our surroundings and the world, then look right back up and see what He is doing. Jesus told us that He did what He saw the Father doing. So this morning I asked I, What are you doing today?Immediately, an answer came to my mind... Cleaning and organizing. So that's part of what I did today, I was getting our house ready=)
So, it is ok and right to discuss the things going on that aren't good... but don't stay there, and don't start there. I think our prayer meetings would be different if we started with praise and ended meditating on what the Father is doing.
The kind young woman that lived where we just moved to had a quote on her wall "Ask not what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive... then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman
Interesting biography... Dr Howard Thurman
I found it so profound, I'm putting it here to remember. What makes me come alive? What makes you come alive?
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Fear of Rejection and manipulation
Yes, my friends I want freedom to come so much in the hearts of myself and all I love! I want to talk about freedom. For it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. I lived a LOT of my life with rejection and fear of rejection. And I found in my life, that these things are coupled with manipulation and control...
For example: With my friends in middle school and high school I would make a suggestion in such a way to make them feel bad (guilty) if they did not comply with what I wanted. I'm not necessarily talking about "bad" things.
Me: Hey you want to come over Friday?
Friend: Uh, I'm not sure, I told so and so I would come over this weekend and I don't know if my parents would let me do both.
Me: Aw, come on, we would have a lot of fun. (manipulation, my friends, we can call it like it is) Don't you want to spend time with me?
[what is the fruit of this question for the "friend"? think about it]
Friend: Of course I do, but I already told so and so that I would hang out with them.
Me: Well, that's ok, I will just ask _______ to come over...
Hurting people, hurt people.
The examples could go on and on... The reality is I did this sort of stuff on a DAILY basis, yuck, Lord deliver us from ALL fear, refection, manipulation, and control.
When I was afraid of being rejected I would say things to get people to feel bad if they didn't do what I wanted. That is manipulation! The other thing I want to shine some light on is the deception that manipulation is loving. It is NOT. What is so marvelous about God is that HE gives us free choice. He loves our worship that is given freely.
2 Cor 5:14-15 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
If we are living for Christ, then if people reject us it won't wound our hearts. We can be free, friends. Tell rejection NO!!!! IF I am living for Christ and not myself if someone spits in my face and calls me a bad name, I can look at them through God's lens and see the brokenness and feel only compassion in my heart for them by the power of His Love! That's where I want to be. God help us get there! How do we get there? Seek God, and find out who you are... that's who He has created you to be=)
According to the Collins English dictionary manipulation is: to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously
So our first step into freedom from these things is to be aware of them in your life. I was not aware that my coercing people to come to my bible study in college was bad. Honestly! I was praised for my ability to get people to do things!!! I did not know it was wrong. It wasn't until my last year of college that I was convicted that what I was doing was manipulation and that it was wrong. (I was in a deliverance class). So I repented, I confessed this to God as a sin and asked Him to heal my heart and cleanse me. Part of the root of why I did it was fear of rejection, I repented for that too. Another part of it was not trusting God. What do I mean?
I was manipulating people to come to Bible Study, because I didn't trust God to lead them there... Whoo buddy! Can you feel the freedom coming?? I recommend a proclamation here, "I trust You God, please show me, Father, what You are doing so I can join You in Your work." The reality is if God is calling you or me to lead a bible study and 1 person comes... AMEN!!!! If 20 people come... AMEN!!!! God's concern isn't numbers, Beloved, it's hearts. Are we trusting Him to do His part. He leads us, and guides us into all truth. Those impressions you get in your heart, those leadings, He talks to you, Beloved.
So now I have repented (and I just repented today for this too 6 years later), asked for cleansing, and I am on the lookout for these nasty things. Wow, they were everywhere!!!! Yucky manipulation came out of my mouth every day, I had to keep repenting and turning to God for mercy... But you know what, I started proclaiming that I was accepted and loved by God, so when I perceived I was being rejected, I took that thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ! By golly things began to change, and those pesky thoughts of rejection stopped coming around so heavily. Whoo hoo!
For example: With my friends in middle school and high school I would make a suggestion in such a way to make them feel bad (guilty) if they did not comply with what I wanted. I'm not necessarily talking about "bad" things.
Me: Hey you want to come over Friday?
Friend: Uh, I'm not sure, I told so and so I would come over this weekend and I don't know if my parents would let me do both.
Me: Aw, come on, we would have a lot of fun. (manipulation, my friends, we can call it like it is) Don't you want to spend time with me?
[what is the fruit of this question for the "friend"? think about it]
Friend: Of course I do, but I already told so and so that I would hang out with them.
Me: Well, that's ok, I will just ask _______ to come over...
Hurting people, hurt people.
The examples could go on and on... The reality is I did this sort of stuff on a DAILY basis, yuck, Lord deliver us from ALL fear, refection, manipulation, and control.
When I was afraid of being rejected I would say things to get people to feel bad if they didn't do what I wanted. That is manipulation! The other thing I want to shine some light on is the deception that manipulation is loving. It is NOT. What is so marvelous about God is that HE gives us free choice. He loves our worship that is given freely.
2 Cor 5:14-15 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
If we are living for Christ, then if people reject us it won't wound our hearts. We can be free, friends. Tell rejection NO!!!! IF I am living for Christ and not myself if someone spits in my face and calls me a bad name, I can look at them through God's lens and see the brokenness and feel only compassion in my heart for them by the power of His Love! That's where I want to be. God help us get there! How do we get there? Seek God, and find out who you are... that's who He has created you to be=)
According to the Collins English dictionary manipulation is: to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously
So our first step into freedom from these things is to be aware of them in your life. I was not aware that my coercing people to come to my bible study in college was bad. Honestly! I was praised for my ability to get people to do things!!! I did not know it was wrong. It wasn't until my last year of college that I was convicted that what I was doing was manipulation and that it was wrong. (I was in a deliverance class). So I repented, I confessed this to God as a sin and asked Him to heal my heart and cleanse me. Part of the root of why I did it was fear of rejection, I repented for that too. Another part of it was not trusting God. What do I mean?
I was manipulating people to come to Bible Study, because I didn't trust God to lead them there... Whoo buddy! Can you feel the freedom coming?? I recommend a proclamation here, "I trust You God, please show me, Father, what You are doing so I can join You in Your work." The reality is if God is calling you or me to lead a bible study and 1 person comes... AMEN!!!! If 20 people come... AMEN!!!! God's concern isn't numbers, Beloved, it's hearts. Are we trusting Him to do His part. He leads us, and guides us into all truth. Those impressions you get in your heart, those leadings, He talks to you, Beloved.
So now I have repented (and I just repented today for this too 6 years later), asked for cleansing, and I am on the lookout for these nasty things. Wow, they were everywhere!!!! Yucky manipulation came out of my mouth every day, I had to keep repenting and turning to God for mercy... But you know what, I started proclaiming that I was accepted and loved by God, so when I perceived I was being rejected, I took that thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ! By golly things began to change, and those pesky thoughts of rejection stopped coming around so heavily. Whoo hoo!
Romans 15: 7- Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.
His acceptance is worth more than anyone else's, and Beloved, you have it, the glory of God=)
Rejoice that your name is written in the book of life (if it is written there, you need Jesus to have it).
So, be free, and let others be free to make choices of their own free will, no "strings" or guilt attached.
I pray as you read this that Holy Spirit will bring more revelation in Jesus' wonderful name.
AJ
P.S. We are all moved and stuff!!! Hurray and thank you to all the helpers, I'll post pictures once we have the house in order, ha ha=)
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