Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Dedicated to my Grandy


Cheers to my Grandy... a man who stood for Jesus, integrity, considering others above himself, love, kindness, laughter, hug-erugerugers whenever you came in the room, crepes with marshmallows and chocolate chips, tire swings, fishing, games, reading to his children and grandchildren, prayer, church, singing, ladies first (even on the fishing boat!), fixing problems, finding solutions, faith, joy, forgiveness, God, truth, wisdom, family, speaking life, creating, giving, living...
 I am so grateful for... my Grandy...
helping me build a lazy susan for my college class...
making us Grandy Breakfast... yum!
treating me like a princess...
helping me build a mail box for my family...
showing me that love looks like something...
loving his wife so dearly, and talking about her so sweetly...
taking me fishing and giving me the first shrimp, and letting me pick where I wanted to cast from on the boat...
helping me build and cut frames to put canvas over...
asking and giving me so many hugs and kisses...
for showing me what integrity looks like...
I am most grateful and thankful that Grandy led me to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was 10 years old.
Father, please tell Grandy thanks for me=) So glad he is with You and Jesus!

12/5/1927- 10/6/2011

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Beware of a fence between you and Heaven...

Ok, so the title is a pun=) Oh puns! =) Anyhoo...
The Lord has been impressing upon me these last couple months the importance of repenting for taking an offense, in addition to forgiving people.
I don't know if it has ever happened to you, but I have forgiven someone for something, released them to Jesus for judgment and then still feel pain if the incident comes back to my mind. I started feeling the weight of offense a couple months ago, and so I repented for taking an offense.

Then I went to a prophetic teams meeting at my church and this lovely lady C. M. was talking about something someone had did while she was on teams that really hurt her. She walked through forgiveness, but she was still very hurt whenever she would think of it. And many times when she was trying to enter into God's presence during worship she kept thinking about this person and what they did. Finally, she mentioned it to some leaders and someone asked if she had forgiven the person, and she said yes. And later she had the revelation that she had taken up an offense with this person. So she quickly repented (Father, I repent for taking an offense and I ask for forgiveness). Then she thought there were probably a bunch of people that she had taken an offense with, so she asked the Lord to bring people to her mind and they did! And she repented! And she said she has experienced the greatest open heaven and joy in her life ever since!!! Glory to God, who wants so much for us to know Him intimately!!!

So needless to say, hearing this was very encouraging, because it was exactly what the Lord was taking me through as well!!! Yee haw!
So what is offense?
skandaliz┼Ź - Greek - Strongs 4624
1) to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall, metaph. to offend
a) to entice to sin
b) to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey
  1) to cause to fall away
  2) to be offended in one, i.e. to see in another what I disapprove of and what hinders me from acknowledging his authority
  3) to cause one to judge unfavourably or unjustly of another
c) since one who stumbles or whose foot gets entangled feels annoyed
  1) to cause one displeasure at a thing
  2) to make indignant
  3) to be displeased, indignant

Used:
Matthew 11:6: "And blessed is he who does not take offense4624 at Me" - Jesus is speaking
Matthew 17:27: "However, so that we do4624 not offend4624 them, go to the sea and throw in a hook, and take the first fish that comes up; and when you open its mouth, you will find a shekel. Take that and give it to them for you and Me ." - again Jesus is speaking 

pasha - Hebrew - Strongs 6586
Proverbs 18:19: A brother offended6586 is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.

One thing I conclude from the definition, is that we don't want to be offended with anyone, especially Jesus, God, Holy Spirit=) I have found that some of the veils spoken of in 2 Corinthians 3:18 are offenses with God, veils that we have where we do not see God as He truly is...
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
When we behold the face of the Lord, we are transformed and veils between us are removed!!! 
Father, I ask for myself and everyone who reads this, that we may encounter You and see Your face. I ask for more interactions with Heaven. I pray off veils and scales in Jesus' name from our eyes, that we can see clearly. I praise You and I thank You so much for all You are working and doing. I bless You Abba, I bless You! 
2 Corinthians 4:3-4 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

And so, Beloved ones in whom God loves, loves, loves. Let us continue to forgive and release people to Jesus for judgment and to change them, and no longer hold them  in bitterness and offense. Repent if needed and listen to the Robinson's - KEEP MOVING FORWARD into love!!!!





Monday, July 18, 2011

Birthday at Lazy 5 Ranch

Turning 27 in about 2 hours here=) But today we went to celebrate at the Lazy 5 Ranch. Had a great time, it is always such a blessing to be with wonderful people and see God's beautiful creation.
Eland - type of Antelope

G. M.

J.J. and A.J.

Don't' remember what these are, but love the baby=)

Grandpa Giraffe - check out those wrinkles!
Cuteness Z=)



Strong like OX...


Mama Llama
Here's a few photos from today's adventures.

Monkey H.G.


Mi Amor
What a good daddy=)
Cute Family J.
B.R.


   Hope you enjoyed the photos, have a fabulous day!
Blessings to you! If you want a beautiful and inspirational song I just heard this one today and LOVE it. John Waller- Bless us and Keep us

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Doing things WITH God

I have heard it said and agree it is best to do things with God rather than for God.
This is the essence of the "Mary Martha" story. The best thing we can do is to find out what God is doing and join Him in that work.
Read Luke 10:38-42
There are many layers of lessons in this story, I am merely highlighting one.=) 
You notice at the end Jesus says to Martha, " Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
Many have interpreted this to mean we shouldn't be busy serving and just sit with Jesus all day. I challenge you that perhaps it is because Mary chose to be with Him when Martha was serving Him.
In other words, many of us after being getting saved strive to do everything possible to serve Jesus. He gave His life for us, so we work and work and work to try and please Him and Father God. When in fact He doesn't love us anymore today than before we were saved. So if you are reading this and are not yet saved, God loves you too!!!! Whoo hoo! The favor with God will change as we learn to be obedient to Him, but not His love. I strove to get God's attention and love because I couldn't feel Him tangibly like it seemed so many of my friends did. But the reality is that He was with me all the time. Which He has shown me.
What God desires is a relationship with His creation, you and me. And the thing that will never be taken from us are the times and things that we do with God, not necessarily for Him. God has works He has written in the Volume I perfect will for your life and mine. Jesus did what He saw the Father doing. Jesus had visions, we can have visions. Lord sanctify our hearts and minds and imaginations in Jesus' name. We can ask Abba what He is doing and join Him in what He shows us or tells us, then we are doing it with Him. There are times God leads us with the still small voice, thoughts, impressions, feelings, and more and when we follow we are joining Him too.
Feeling example:
One day while I was at Morningstar Church when they were having Break Out meetings my right ear began to get VERY warm. A few moments later a family of 4 walked in front of me and I just knew what I was experiencing was for 1 of them. I followed them and tapped the Dad on the shoulder and asked if anyone was having ear troubles. He said, "Yes, my ear has been in pain for a few days." So I prayed with the family and agreed for his healing and voila! Holy Spirit healed his ear with us.

Impression and Thought Example:
I was praying with a dear friend of mine who had been experiencing EXTREME pain during her monthly visit. So much so that she would actually scream in pain. She knew it was demonic and had prayed about it, but it was still happening. So we sat down and asked God to show us what was going on. We both got the same picture in our minds' eye. So we asked for further revelation and got what each meant. We prayed it through, and then I thought of a man's name. It is an unusual name and I didn't think she knew anyone by that name so I ignored it. We prayed through some other things and I said, "Lord is there anything else?" The name came back to my head. I thought, well I suppose I better give it a shot. I asked her if she knew anyone named _________. Her eyes got real big and she told me a story related to this person that was VERY significant. We broke off ungodly souls between her and her family and the gentlemen and we both felt something tangible happen in the room. She felt a weight lift off of her, and she hasn't ever had any episodes again. Praise You Father for revealing to us the keys for her healing!!!!

Both instances are examples of joining with God. So let us do that today!!! Father what are You doing?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Funny Chicken Story

This happened over last Christmas (my first Christmas with my husband's family- who have a little farm)...
I REALLY wanted to pet a chicken, so...
With my chicken hat on, I open the gate...

I squat down out front and patiently wait...

They are not coming out, for I am too near...

So I wait, and wait, for them to appear.

Finally, a brave hen emerges...

Oh boy! My energy surges!

But alas, the chicken was too fast.  At least my Beloved was there, to comfort my loss and give me some care=)


































But, a day or so later I did get to HOLD a chicken!!! Which was so great, she was so soft. Sadly, the reason I got to hold her is because I witnessed the neighbor's dog attacking her and ran outside to save her and she had gone into shock. So I picked her up and brought her inside. We spoke life over her, and live she did=) Hurray!!! Sorry I didn't think to get pictures of her=(
Hope I made you smile=)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Gettin' Ready

Well, after the very strange hail storm a couple days ago I am really motivated to be prepared to leave in disaster or stay in disaster. Before I continue let me say, whatever we do (preparedness-wise) we do by faith, not fear. My faith is not in the stuff, but in Yahweh Jireh - the Lord our Provider... the one who made me and takes care of the sparrows. I was not given a spirit of fear, but power love and a sound mind.
So when struggling with fear, let us go further into God's love and who Jesus is, who Holy Spirit is. Today I was reading in Matthew about Jesus healing ALL the sick who came to Him. The compassion that He walked with. I tell you, friends, the more time we spend with Jesus the more perfect love casts out fear.
Brad McClendon spoke at Church Sunday a REALLY good message. Today is the last free day to watch it on http://morningstartv.com if you are interested. He starts about an hour into the service. He was talking about how he used to read the bible to get something, an answer, or such... But he asked the Lord to deliver him so that he can read the Bible to be with Jesus and find out who He is. I love that. Let's get to know Jesus.
My friend was given the task of reading Leviticus and Deuteronomy while at IHOP in Kansas City and seeing how each rule represented the love of God! She saw amazing things in the scripture she never noticed before.
Anyways... ha ha, the tangents... So my point is, when preparing, which is wisdom- unless God has specifically told you not to prepare, let us do so in faith and love, not fear. Hurray! Exciting times ahead.

I am making a list of what I would need to go and stay and getting it together. I already have a nice backpack I used for hiking that I will turn into our "go" bag.
I am using the options from http://www.zebgear.com/catalog/zeb-gear-products/be-prepared-to-leave-gear/zeb-gear-go-bags/build-your-own-go-bag to help design what I need.

I'm also going to get food grade 55 gallon barrels. There is a guy on craigslist.org (in the Charlotte, NC area) selling them for $22 a piece if you buy 3 or more. That is cheaper than anything else I have found online. To store things in, and rain.

We have also started a garden on our porch. =)
Bren found a video on how to make a rocket oven from adobe bricks How to Make Your Own Rocket Stove...
Although, I really like the idea of a solar oven. This is a how to make video also. Solar Oven from cardboard and AL

Spending time listening to the LORD would be very good, b/c only He knows what you need=)Aw, for shalom=)
Shalom to you!


Friday, April 8, 2011

Our Story Part III -first date and the Christmas Party

...but, I convinced myself to start walking down the stairs. I smiled cheerfully, hoping he didn't feel my mixed feelings, and gave him a hug. We got in my car and headed to Best China.
The 2 things I noted from this date, my first official date of my life (excluding school dances), was that Bren ministered to the waiter before I did, and he prayed that the Lord would give me the desires of my heart. Of course I was thinking, and you think that's you buddy boy, don't you...=)
We came home and I flipped out and emotionally told my roommates I knew who my husband was and I cried from distress. It doesn't really make a lot of sense friends, but that is the thing about fear, it usually isn't in line with reason.
We continued hanging out weekly, but didn't have anymore official dates the next couple weeks. Then the Morningstar Staff Christmas Party rolls around. Bren had recently become staff for this ministry but I was hoping he was not going to be there since he wasn't terribly social. I asked a friend of mine to take me as his "date" so I could go and dance. I love to dance. =) And he said sure, and picked me and my roommate D.B. up to go.
We arrive and behold, Bren is there. He comes over to me smiling and excited saying, "I didn't know you were staff."
I said, "Oh, I'm not, I just came as [so - in so]'s date" - I said "date" as I physically made the quotations signal... That didn't seem to help. I could' ve just punched him in the gut and it would have been better. Oh, his face showed such hurt=(
Now, dear reader, keep in mind that I knew it was the wrong thing to do to ask my friend to take me. Inherently I do not think it is wrong to take friends out as a date, but I knew when I asked my friend it was not the right thing to do...

Bren went back to his seat and I went to mine. I confided in a leader at my table and his wife and told them I did a bad thing and he told me to calm down and it wasn't that big a deal.
I glanced back to see Bren... he was gone.
Oh, no... I tried to push it out of my head, said a little prayer for him and "participated" in the games.
About 30 minutes later I got a tap on my shoulder, it was him! I smiled, as if everything was right as rain (Oh drama person that I am), hello=)
"Could we talk outside for a minute?" -Bren
I agreed and went outside.
He then asked me if I disliked him, but using a much stronger word.
I felt so bad, "No, no, I don't dislike you. It's just that my whole life if a man liked me or pursued me I would run, or avoid, or push away until they changed their mind. It isn't as much you as it is you being a man that likes me that is the problem..."
We were out there for probably another hour and a half and essentially he told me he loved me. Yes, dear friends, he said, "I love you"! After being on 1 date with me! But I had a peace inside of me, Holy Spirit telling me everything was going to be alright during the whole thing. Bren said he hadn't changed his mind about pursuing me, I told him I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to him, but did NOT have the feelings to go with it. He said that was fine...!?
I went back inside and he went home. I went to my guy friend and D.B. crying because I had hurt Bren, and he said it would be fine. We went home and I kept crying because I wanted to face my fears, but it was so hard. I went inside with D.B. and cried some more because I knew who my husband was.
As I was going to sleep I complained to the Lord: he is just doing this because You told him to! He doesn't even think I'm pretty or beautiful, he didn't say a word about it on our first date...! Read Part IV
Read Part I

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Wisconsin Recall? Money Now...

I'm not sure why, but somehow I got on a "Bold Progressive" mailing list and I received an e-mail about a victory in Wisconsin. I looked at it and saw it was something against budget cuts in the school system. $425,000 had been raised for this campaign.
Beloved people of the United States of America, we NEED budget cuts, or we are TOAST. If we keep spending the way we are spending and don't turn things around there will be a collapse of our entire economy. The education of our children should NOT be the governments job and expense. That $425,000 could have been used towards the actual school system in Wisconsin-  instead of attacking the people that are trying to save our country from economic destruction. There is a SERIOUS problem.
One of the Senators for my state is downright scared at the numbers that have been disclosed to him. If we want our children to be educated, we can invest in the schools as we can. If we pull together we can get through. Public School is not bad, but it started with the COMMUNITY coming together to pay the town school teacher to teach their children. This is our responsibility, not the government's.
These 5 or 6 Republicans in Wisconsin fighting to keep America afloat are NOT saying education is not important. They are looking at the grave situation at hand and trying to make a better USA for our children.


Here is the article by Mick Mulvaney:

"Telling the Truth

What is Washington doing with our money?  This is one of the most basic – and important – questions that folks have asked me since I have been in Congress.  It’s also one of the most difficult to answer.
  Of course, we always hear a lot of quick answers:  “They’re wasting it!” or “They’re throwing it away on earmarks!” or “They’re giving it away to other countries.”  And to a certain extent, every one of those statements is true. 
But those explanations don’t come close to telling the whole story.  That’s because the federal government has gotten so big that it literally spends more money than any person can comprehend.
  Consider this, if you were to spend a million dollars every single day – from the birth of Christ until today – you still would not have spent one trillion dollars.  (In fact, you would still have almost $300 billion left over.)  This year, the federal government will spend about one trillion every 120 days. 

More discouragingly, the country has fourteen times that amount in national debt.  It’s an absolutely obscene amount of money.  But this still doesn’t explain what the government is doing with all the money.  It only explains how much money is being spent.
  To explain where all the money is going, it’s easier to at least start the conversation if you take the numbers down to something that makes more sense.  For example, if our nation was just one family, then, as a family, we made around $43,000 last year.  But we spent $69,000.  That means we had to put $26,000 on the credit card.  And the big problem with the credit card is this: its balance is $284,000.
  Using that example, if Washington were to save all the money that was wasted last year (wouldn’t that be nice!) out of next year’s budget, we would save about $1,300.  That’s nothing to turn your nose up at, but it’s a far cry from the $26,000 we need to save for a balanced budget.
  •   How about all the earmarks?  Suppose we were to eliminate all funding for earmarks – something else I completely agree with.  Some reports estimated that Congress spent $16.5 billion on earmarks last year.  That saves us $330 out of the family budget example.  Still a long, long way to go before we make up the $26,000 that we borrowed. 

As for all the money we give away to other countries: using our family budget example, eliminating all Foreign Aid would only save us about $920.

But my favorite example is the $35 million that Congress cut from our own budgets this year.  Yes, it was a 5% cut for us, and it is important to lead by example, but that $35 million represents less than one dollar out of the $26,000 we need to save.

So right now, after taking out all waste, earmarks, and foreign assistance, we have cut the amount we borrowed down from $26,000 to about $23,449.  As you can see, digging ourselves out of this spending hole will not be easy.
  Both parties like to talk about saving taxpayer dollars, but when it comes down to actually reducing what we’ve been borrowing, the “quick fixes” that are thrown around don’t even come close.  The fact is that we are past the point of just saying no to bad programs and wasteful spending.  At this point, we have to say no to some good programs too. In fact, we probably have to start saying no to everything, at least a little."



 
Father, give us wisdom in Jesus' name.

Redemption for Mama Squirrel

I have a nice little porch and backyard that I LOVE! Thank You Lord!
And I was sitting out there in December and noticed a big squirrel carrying twigs and small branches up a tree. And then going and getting more, she kept getting stuck on other branches since she had them horizontally in her mouth. It was quite entertaining - almost as entertaining as My Squirrel-i-gig.

I noticed it looked lie quite the unstable place she was making her nest so I prayed God would protect her and their nest. 2 maybe 3 seconds later it all came tumbling down! I thought, well Lord, that was kind of the opposite of what I prayed. But my husband said God was answering my prayer because that wasn't a good spot for them.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. I heard some rustling between my fence and my neighbors fence. I got up on a chair to look over and I saw a nest and a bunch of baby squirrels in it!!!!! They were so cute. I noticed some red fabric in there and didn't think anything of it. (I am a fabric Queen by the way=)

And today, after being gone about 5 days I went to check on them and the Mama squirrel has made a very tight nest! I looked closer and saw that the red fabric was a rectangle fleece piece that I had embroidered the word SHALOM onto!!! I hadn't even realized it was missing! I had put it on my porch and she used it for her nest. What delight!!! That makes me happy it had such a good use, keepin' the babies warm.
Hurray!! Sorry I don't have a picture of the baby squirrels, I hope to get one soon.
So the point is, even though exactly what I prayed for didn't happen, the best thing did. God knows our hearts and answers them too. Mama Squirrel and her babies would not have been safe where she was building, but she ended up having a VERY safe spot to birth her babies with SHALOM=)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Worms for our Garden!

So we are officially composting in our backyard! I made my own worm inn based off of Rainbow Worm Inn.  Except I just put a tie at the bottom.
The red worms just came today. My hubby ordered 2 lbs! Did you know that you can put paper towel inserts, paper egg cartons and cardboard into your compost?? I am very excited about our in home recycling. Plus, since we are having a vegetable garden this year, we can feed our plants without having to buy more stuff at the store.
The start to our garden=)
I also found out that too much citrus is not good for the acidity of the worm castings. But egg shells help to bring your ph to balance! What a new thing I have discovered. But I am super excited about the recycling aspect of this! Let's save the planet, one family at a time! Amazing.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Song for the Mommy's with Babies in Heaven

This is the transcription of Elizabeth's encounter with Jesus and the two-cell fetus that just touched my heart.
[I read this in Mary Jo Pennington's book Big Angels and Flaming Wild Horses and saw the transcript on http://www.notjustnotes.ws/.]


My name is Elizabeth Szeremeta, and on August 16, 2005 a little after 10pm at home at Rawdon, Quebec, Canada.
Suddenly I noticed that the light in the dining room where I was seated at the table began to get brighter and brighter.
In my spirit, I knew that soon heaven would come down to earth.
I waited... Jesus came...
I have read the accounts of Sister Faustina, a Polish nun who saw and described Jesus.
The wonderful Jesus that I saw fit her description, except He was more golden, more glorious. His hair had brilliant highlights. Surrounding Him were minuscule particles of gold dust, which danced in the air around Him.
Jesus began to speak. He said he was holding an aborted embryo in his hand. He let me see a close-up of this embryo, as if I were looking through a magnifying glass, so that I could scrutinize all the details:

I had a moment of uneasiness. This embryo had neither arms nor legs. There were no details which resembled a baby.
All I could see was two cells fused together. Each cell had a darker spot. I was made to understand that this spot was the door through which one could enter in... in order to obtain all the details on the future development of the baby.

Here is an excerpt of our conversation:
Jesus said, "This aborted baby has a message for you."
I said, "Jesus, why are you speaking to me in French? You know I understand English or Polish better."
Jesus said, "This message is destined for French-speaking people."
Suddenly, I realized I had perfect mastery of the French language. I was thrilled.
The Baby embryo said to me, "I am a baby who is now living in heaven, along with thousands upon thousands of other babies who are growing up with me. Together we wrote a letter to our mothers, who are still living on Earth."
 

WHY ME LORD?
I asked, "Why did you choose me to deliver this message? I have never experienced an abortion."
Jesus answered, "Because you are able to write music."
Baby embryo answered also, "We like you because you know rejection, as we knew it, while we were on Earth."
Then I started to take down the song, as the baby dictated it to me by singing it, phrase by phrase, note by note.
I noticed that I could take all the time in the world, for the job to be well done. No one was in a hurry. When I was finished, I asked some more questions.
I asked, "Jesus, why did you choose this embryo, in particular, to deliver this message?"
Jesus answered, "Because it was the youngest."
I was made to understand that right from the moment of conception, one is already a person.
I asked, "Is this embryo a girl or a boy?"
Jesus said, "I won't answer that question. This embryo represents all of the aborted girls and boys who are now growing up in heaven."
 

A SPECIAL GRACE
I asked, "Does the baby have a name? If not, may I give it a name?"
Jesus answered, "No, a special grace will accompany this song each time it will be sung.
"I will let all mothers of aborted babies, who listen to this song know how many girls, how many boys they have rejected.
"If they repent and decide to consecrate their lives to me, I will give these mothers an opportunity to choose themselves, the names of their aborted children."

I said, "So this baby is waiting for its real mother to pick a name for him?"
Jesus answered, "You have understood correctly. This song will be sung here and there, all over the world."
abortions are performed per year.

MY DEAREST MOMMY


By the babies in heaven through Elizabeth Szeremeta

My dearest Mommy, I am your own child.
God gave me to you, but then you aborted me.
I see you crying your heart out for me,
And I am telling you that I love you,
Oh Mom, I love you.

My dearest Mommy, as I watch from Heaven,
I want to say, that I love you so much,
And at the end of life's journey,
I want you to come and live
in Heaven with me.

My dearest Mommy, up in my Heavenly home,
The strong arms of Jesus
hold me with such great love.
I see the splendor and
Joy of all the saints
We're all so glad
that we can
live here forever.

My Dearest Mommy
Jesus does understand
He wants to forgive and to
Give you His peace and His joy.
Open your heart, give your whole life to Him
And when you do, you'll see,
You will be happy.
 ****If you have had an abortion and don't know what gender your baby is... God wants to show you him/her and heal your heart. Go to Him, He loves you and your babies! Repent, receive healing, move forward, name your child - they love you! 
If you want to see my painting click here.

Evidence of God

While making campaign phone calls for Wendy Petzel (that didn't win this time around) I had several people hang up on me. After-wards, I would say out loud I forgive you I forgive you I forgive. Trying very hard not to take it personal and mean it=)
Right after a hang up a woman said something to me very rudely before hanging up the phone, and I actually managed to say "I forgive you" before I heard the click.
I got off the phone and cried, tears and all, as I continued to say "I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you." I skyped (called with a camera) my Beloved and he said, " Remember hurting people, hurt people. I said, "I know, I know, but it is hard because I don't know how she is hurting." He told me to take a break, but I kept calling until I reached my skype limit. No more hang-ups, only voice mail, sometimes I am very grateful for the voicemail=)
Then, I am doing my dishes later and I heard a question in my spirit.
Why is your heart sad when people say something mean? I am not sure.
Why is your heart glad when people are kind? Hhmmmm...
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...
When someone is speaking with kindness towards me, they are joining with Holy Spirit. It is evidence to a work He is doing in their life. Even if they know Holy Spirit or not.
When someone is speaking from meanness, or bitterness, it is evidence of a different spirit they are partnering with.
When this revelation hit me I began to have compassion for the woman that I called and I prayed for her with a sincere heart that her heart would be healed so she could love like she has never been hurt. I love this woman that spoke with me on the phone. I can tell you after the 1 liner spoken to me I didn't really want to love her. But God answered my prayer for His perspective and now I can see her differently. Thank You Abba.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Miracles Still Happen- Appearing Wallet!!!

After Monday night's Oak Initiative Meeting Bren (my husband) and I came home and we were sitting on our couch. He said, " I have a surprise for you. Do you want to guess?" (Now I had watched both services for Morningstar Sunday b/c I web-streamed for my friends, M and S that just had baby J, at my house. And before both services C and a girl I don't know announced a French Dinner Theater for $8 in the Ballroom- and I told the Lord I wanted to go, and to have Bren get the tickets if we could.- I did not tell Bren.)
At the French Dinner Theater a week later=)
I said, "French Dinner Theater Tickets!" He said, "Yes!" (Surprised, but happy that I guessed it, b/c it meant I had wanted to go... I mean $8 dinner theater??) He pulls out his wallet and shows me the tickets. Hurray, me so happy! He put the wallet down somewhere on the couch.
Tuesday morning: he got up for work and looked for his wallet, to no avail, gave up and went so he wouldn't be late.
Tuesday night: he searched for over an hour and a half every part of the downstairs and our upstairs bedroom, took off the cushions, took everything off the mushroom (square foot rest that matches). I looked through the couch myself. He looked in his special drawer that he usually puts his wallet over a dozen times expecting it to be there, but it was not. He started anxiously looking, but then prayed and got excited about finding it and was no longer discouraged. We spoke together "I want my wallet" from Bobby Connor's "I want my knife" story, (and for the Lord to show us where it is since the beginning - no vision came- so I knew there was a reason He wasn't showing us, b/c I know He can from previous experience)
Wednesday morning: looked again in the special drawer and other places to no avail. (Now I had been looking around too, just not as much as him.)
Wednesday night: he searched more, again, took everything out of our bottom closet and put it back again, cushions, couch.
Thursday night: he wasn't searching much, and had determined he needed to cancel all his cards and get a new license. Still new God could bring it back, but couldn't figure out where it was. Now, I had the strong desire to find this wallet, I searched through his special drawer, couches, cushions, the car (I did find a ring I had lost in there=)! Back to the drawer, the other drawers, NADA. Went to sleep.
Friday morning: 2/18/2011 - Bren comes into the bedroom early showing me his wallet!!!! I said, "Oh, my! Where was it?" He said, "It manifested! It was in my drawer!" I said,"What?! What do you mean, like under stuff, way in the back?" He said, "It was at the front under a little piece of paper! Thank You Lord, Thank You Lord! When all is lost, including our identity, He will restore it!"
And the praises continue=) Thank You Lord!
Now my question is... where was the wallet the past 3 1/2 days??? ;) Heaven?=) If the Lord tells me I'll let you know! I have a few other missing items I'd like restored too=) Thank You Lord! Thank You Lord! Thank You Lord! Thank You Lord!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Rejoicing over Repentance

Now, this is not a new concept for sure, however it hit me this morning more than ever. Today's scripture reading came from Luke 15.

In pride I have had tendencies upon reading/hearing certain passages of scripture thinking they didn't apply to me.
For example the prodigal son found in Luke 15... I still remember watching the Donut Man as a youngster and seeing their rendition of this story and thinking... "That isn't fair!" Relating to the older son much more than having compassion on the younger brother that spent money on relations with women. I honestly never understood the implications here until I was in college and I heard Jason in IVCF speak about the son and God's love. I really suggest reading it, possibly again... blueletterbible.org is your friend!=)
I did not recognize the sin that was in my heart: judgmental-ism, pride, control, manipulation, fear of man, to name a few. Because I never drank or smoke, etc... I thought I was the righteous one. But this is very wrong and dangerous thinking my friends. I can fully tell you that "Pride comes before the fall". It is by God's grace over my life that I haven't ever been drunk with wine, and I pray by God's grace I never will. I think one of the most freeing sermons I ever heard was Rick Joyner stating that by God's grace he has never cheated on his wife, and by God' s grace he prayed he never would! Praise God for this man! We have the capability inside each of us for EVERY sin! If we have not done a particular sin,  God's grace is in us helping us make good decisions. We partner with God in doing good. You can be the most powerful team on Earth, if Jesus is who you stand with.
Jesus was branded for our transgressions - the outward, manifested sin
and bruised for our iniquities... the inward heart bent toward sin
Ana Mendez says iniquity is part of our spiritual DNA, and I think she is right. If there are things I have not repented for, the heart bent towards those sins will be passed on to my children for them to deal with. There are consequences for our sin. And Jesus became sin so that we might become the righteousness of God in Christ! So God's grace is with everyone in differing degrees. God gives us free-will to choose the right thing or not, and there are consequences. Once we repent and uproot the iniquity in our hearts His grace and joy can fill those spots! Hurray!

So anyways, back to Luke 15, he he, there are the 3 parables Jesus gives after the religious leaders grumble because Jesus is chilling with sinners.
  • First is the sheep, leaving 99 sheep to retrieve the lost one. 
At the end Jesus says, "there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."
  • Second is the Lost Silver Coin.
At the end Jesus says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
  • Third is the Prodigal Son.
At the end Jesus says, "But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.'" 


Every time I repent, turning my heart towards God and away from my bad attitudes, pride, selfishness... there is rejoicing in heaven. The angels are moved to joy. The reality is every time we turn away from God we become like the lost sheep, lost coin, the lost son. Every time I feel the selfishness to drink all the chocolate milk and not save any for my darling husband, I am turning away from the Lord! But if I take this moment and repent for selfishness, there is rejoicing! Rejoicing, and joy joy joy!!!!
Submit to God, resist the devil - and he will flee from you.
Thank You Abba for Your kindness that leads us to repentance, and for showing us this piece of what heaven is like.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Excited about Wendy Petzel

The majority of my life I had little to no interest in politics. Until I understood the importance of being involved after coming up to SC.
I like the quote on Pamela Geller's site, "Evil is made possible by the sanction you give it. Withdraw your sanction."
By doing nothing to help shift our government we are giving permission for evil to ensue. I am no longer ignorant of the importance of being involved. Thank You Father for Your grace. Holy Spirit gave direction to our founding fathers to start up this nation, and we still need Him to help us keep our constitution.
I am very excited to say that for the first time in my life, I really know a candidate that is running for some sort of office. (Except my Grandfather, but he ran before I was born).

In District 16 in SC there is a woman named Wendy Petzel running for Senate to replace Mick Mulvaney. She is a conservative candidate coming in to help sort of... audit the government in South Carolina. Find places that we can make cuts. To some this may seem like a terrible thing to do. Why? Because we need gov't funding! Well, my Beloved fellow citizens. I think it is time that we turn back to God as our provider and not the gov't. That was NOT what the founding fathers intentioned, and the government wasn't set up to provide all our needs. That is NOT what our government is for.
It CAN'T do it any longer, many states will be insoluble if action isn't taken NOW to make budget cuts.
The government is not meant to be our provider of funds.
Please read the Early Documents yourself.
Wendy has a passion for the USA more than most people I have ever met, one of the first things I noticed about her is the BIG American Flag over her garage. I got to be a part of singing her America songs in the choir she started. They are really beautiful and get stuck in my head often. =) She is very well researched on the issues at hand and feels a call towards government.

We need a shift in government if we are going to survive and keep our freedoms. If you are in Fort Mill and Indian Land, SC District 16, I highly recommend this patriotic, well educated woman for your vote on February 22nd.  Here is her mission statement:

"The hour is late. The world looks on with fear and trembling as this mighty nation stands on the edge of a precipice, its foundations crumbling.
Will it be the end of America as we know it?
The people cry out for restoration, yearning for long life for this nation and a return to the principles by which our founding fathers lived.
I believe that we can reclaim the great strength of our nation, its economy, its national defense, its technical ingenuity.
We can do it as we stand squarely on the shoulders of our Constitution.
We can regain our freedoms that are being wrenched from our grasp if we have abiding vigilance, and if we are prepared to sacrifice.
Like the eagle, we have far-reaching vision in our dreams for the future.
We will soar above the eminent crisis of our day, and we will be strengthened on the wings of our faith.
Together we resolve to give future generations a strong, prosperous nation in which dreams can be fulfilled under the banner of freedom.-Wendy "

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Chain Letters and such...

I am not against Chain Letters.
However, I am standing firm against condemnation, manipulation and control.
If an e-mail you receive has a beautiful message and ends with something like this...

Do you have the courage to send this forward? If you do not stand up for Jesus, he won't stand up for you... etc...
or
If you don't send this to XYZ amount of people then you will be harmed or cursed.

Please delete the statements whose fruit are not of God, and go ahead and send the beautiful message if YOU WANT TO.
Jesus did not come to condemn the world, but to save it.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.- James 3:17

I understand and recognize that control and manipulation are still used by us all over. The root is usually fear. This kind of fear is a sin, let us Beloved, call it like it is, repent and move forward.
To quote Meet the Robinsons, "Keep Moving Forward." Don't let sin hold you down and don't let people hold you to your sin, for that is a sin. Forgive those who have wrongly judged you, the reality is we do this a lot, with God's grace we will see clearly. God help us to see each other with Your eyes in Jesus' name.

I used to be one of the most manipulative people I have ever met, and I tell you, I thought I was doing the right thing. I would coerce people to go to my bible study or Church, or meetings. I would say things so that if the person did not do what I said then they would feel bad about it. This is not Godly, I thought it was. My picture of who God really is, was not accurate. It is not wrong by any means to ask someone to go to Bible Study or Church, but when we do it, let us do it with gentleness, giving the person FULL freedom to say "no" if they don't want to go. With no condemnation. The conviction of Holy Spirit brings Godly sorrow and repentance followed by hope and peace!!!!! Not shame!! THE YUCKY SHAME FEELING IS NOT FROM GOD... Thank You Jesus.

If there is anyone that I have used control or manipulation over, reading this, I am truly sorry. So sorry. I was very insecure of God's love and thought I had to strive to obtain His love. Please, forgive me, and release me to God. I repent for ever making you feel shame for not doing what I was telling you to do, even if it was in a playful manor, it was not in a right spirit. I love you, truly. Be free, Beloved of God. I pray for all those whom I have hurt that they would come to know You more intimately Abba, that veils would come off eyes that we can see You clearly. May we have the knowledge of the glory of God, in Jesus' name.
And I also pray for your healing from any wounds in Jesus' name.

P.S. No shame to anyone who has written these chain letters or passed them on... Just repent and MOVE FORWARD! I am one who has done this too. In this instance knowledge is power... power to truly love, and "forward" love.

Note: I am not saying one shouldn't stand up for Jesus, I am saying we can do it without operating in condemnation on others.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Our Story Part II

So, back in SC Bren would come to my mind on occasion, and I would simply ask," Father, minister to his needs." And think no more...
I saw glances of him about 3 times, once at N.D.'s home-group (church in someone's home) and twice at church and I would just place my hand on his head as I walked by (he was praying, pretty much every time I saw him, sitting on the floor).
Now it is 11/11/2008 and I was heating up my lunch, on break from MSM, I turned from the microwave in the Cafe and saw Bren over where they sell tickets at Conferences (about 55 ft away). I exclaimed, "Bren" and ran across the cafe to give him a good ole-fashioned Grandy (my grandpa) bear hug. When I pulled back he looked quite stunned and giddy... I said, " Are you feeling the love of the Lord?"
He kinda laughed and nodded in a goofy way. I said, " Well, more Lord, you want some food?" I had leftovers available, and Bren took a few minutes to recover (by the way, when I hugged him he felt a powerful warm love, that filled him joy and it immobilized and vibrated him like an electrical current from head to toe- he has "a hard time describing these wonderful things").=)
----By the way, God has told Bren in the middle of October that he would know for sure who his wife would be on 11/11 and that she would come to him. ---
We discussed how we hadn't seen a mutual friend J.Y. in a while and I said we should all get together sometime. Bren called a day or 2 later and I asked if he wanted to come over for dinner b/c J.Y. was going to come over. While on the phone my flat mate G.M. says, "And tell him that Tuesday is now an official day to bring chocolate over. I relayed this to Bren, who laughed, and I said, "She's just kidding." At the same time Bren says, "No she's not." As G.M. says, "No I'm not." And he told me that the Lord had told him to bring chocolate over already. I thought that was great, I love to see how God speaks to people.
So Bren comes over with a bag of kisses and hands them to me. I passed them off to G.M., thinking they are for her and eat one. Bren asks if he can have 1, so I threw him 2 kisses and he saved the wrappers=) (Unknown to me, of course, I am quite clueless of him having any interest in me at all!)
---By the way, God told Bren in the end of October while at Bloom(grocery store) to buy a bag of candy. He knew this meant he would see his sweet soon. He had been fasting sweets for a long time for his sweet=)
So when Bren ate the 2 kisses I threw him, it was his first candy in a long time=)
We had a nice dinner and I sang a blessing over him and J.Y. before they left and very soon I got another phone call from Bren, and then another=)
We start hanging out at the Shalom home (I lived with 7 other MSU girls in a lovely home in Regent Park). One day he in November he was showing me pictures from his Summer of Love tour (He was at the Call on 07/07/2007 - as was I=) And he asked me if Morningstar had a dating policy. (Some Christian schools do have one) I told him not really, and they even kinda encouraged dating. 
After someone came in and interrupted our conversation and left again, he leaned over and said that he had no agenda in asking this question. To which I replied, "Oh, ok."
---By the way, when Bren left this evening he wasn't happy with himself and prayed, "God I messed up, can you fix it?" And God said he could;)---


Last single woman Thanksgiving!
Shortly after I went home for Thanksgiving telling my family about the interesting fellow I had been hanging out with. Now do realize that to me, this wasn't necessarily a red flag that he liked me. Other fellas had asked me similar questions(to the dating policy) that in the end were intended for asking out a friend of mine, or simple curiosity. So I did wonder if he liked me, but I didn't know for sure...


I got on skype to chat once or twice while home, but didn't really think about it too much;)

I came back to Morningstar Saturday night and felt Holy Spirit impressing me to call Bren. And I said in my head, "No, I don't want to call him, he might like me." I tried to set up my webcam and failed. Bren is quite the computer savvy person, so I finally called. He answered immediately and said, "I was just about to call you." I thought that was odd, and then he asked if I remembered the conversation concerning the dating policy where he said he had no agenda. I said, "Yes, you said that." And he asked how I perceived that. I said, "Well, I figured you wanted to know Morningstar's dating policy, but had no intentions on pursuing me or asking me out." 
Bren: "Well, I lied and I'm sorry. That's not true."
AJ: "So, are you saying that you did have an agenda and are pursuing me?"
Bren: "Yes."
AJ: "Oh..."
Somehow we ended the conversation. I remained quite calm during the conversation, but as soon as I got off the phone I panicked. Fears started leaping out from within. Fears having to do with commitment, male relationship, intimacy, fear of man, fear of my future and a few more... Ha ha... 
So not wasting any time, the next day after Church Bren saw me in the lobby and asked me if I liked Best China (a restaurant in Regent Park). I said I did and he asked if we could go there that night around 6pm. I said yes and we went our separate ways.
Again, I was quite calm while he was talking to me, but when I went home I panicked again and I wanted to wear a T-Shirt and Jeans with my hair in a pony tail and NO make-up. I did not want to give any impression that I even tried at ALL for this date. (Lots of fears people, lots of fears- oh the evilness) 

But seeing as how this was my first date (besides school dances) in my life, my roommates would have NONE of that. J.H. and D. B. picked out my outfit and did make-up with R. M. and they CURLED MY HAIR!!! I was thinking, sheesh! This is quite an ordeal. Then the time came when the doorbell rang. J.H. and G.M. answered the door excitedly, while I remained upstairs clutching the banister. I did NOT want to go downstairs. Fear was very real and apparent in my body, it was decision time... I had been so afraid of being in a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship my whole life that I had managed to push STRONGLY away anyone that made any commitment type comments of wanting to be with. When they got over it we could be friends. But there is a prayerful man downstairs waiting for me and I feel stuck in fear...Read Part III

Read Part I






Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Oaks of Righteousness

Well, today I was reading these verses that I just love I got a new picture.
Please excuse the drawing, inkscape is hard for me to maneuver, ha ha=) (and the middle plant I found, I didn't draw)
Who among you is wise and understanding?
Let him show by his good behavior, his deeds, in the gentleness of wisdom.
But if you have bitter jealously and selfish ambition in your hearts. Do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 
This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.
But the wisdom from heaven is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable (or willing to yield), full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.
And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 3: 13-18

Take a moment to visualize (well if you are a visual learner- ha ha).[ I have found that I have an EXTREMELY difficult time remembering someone's message if they don't tell a story that I can watch as they speak. It could be one of the most amazing sermons ever, but I remember the ones with a visual context.]
Visualize what it looks like to speak with purity and gentleness and willing to yield. Picture what it is like to speak from bitterness, jealously and selfish ambition. If you have spoken from these things... repent(turn) and move forward into Love. Repentance is one of the greatest gifts we have been given with Jesus! True conviction from Holy Spirit leads to hope and life, if you are feeling condemned for something, that my friends is NOT Jesus, Father God, or Holy Spirit!!!!!!! (Who are One God - Elohim - the plurality of Majesty- who created the world - but different facets). Ok, sorry, tangent=) 
Ha ha, so we are visualizing...
Seriously, take a moment to read the verses again, Holy Spirit will you give us further understanding and revelation about what this means...
Thank You Lord! 

There is a group that begun over a year ago, The Oak Initiative, to awaken the Church and raise up the oaks of righteousness.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3 
Could it be, that to be these oaks of righteousness that are being raised up to display the LORD's splendor, we must walk in the principles outlined in James above? My hearts desire, God help me, I need Your grace, is to walk in wisdom from heaven with purity, peace, gentleness... Father, give us revelation, and help us walk in this place in Jesus' name.
Let it be so!(Amen)



Monday, January 17, 2011

Our Story Part I

This is the journey of how I came to be with my loving husband named Bren=)
Like many good stories this one starts with a prophecy.

It was during spring break of my first year(March 2008) at MSM( Morningstar School of Ministry) that I was walking along the beach with my sweet Momma. She says, "I think you are going to meet your husband in the next 6 months, he is going to have a good sense of humor, and be unlike anyone you have ever met. Is that a prophetic word, if it just comes to you like that?"
I said, "Maybe, Momma, we shall see."

I can't really say this was in the forefront of my thinking, I was quite busy at school, and I had already met some high caliber gentlemen at Morningstar, so I figured there was a possibility to meet the guy I have been waiting for=)

6 Months later!!!!!!
In August 2008 met this new first year student J.C. and thought he was pretty awesome! And he had a friend S.D. that wanted to go to the Call in Washington D.C. on 8/14or 16?/2008, so we decided to go up together with my friend L.K. Then my other friend J.Y. said he had a friend named Bren that wanted to go too, so I said,"Sure, that would be great." I was told he would be at MS the next day for Todd Bentley's 8/8/08 meeting, so J.Y. Gave me a brief description of his appearance so I could keep an eye out.

I was very excited on 8/8/08 because there were so many new people to meet (of of course lots of miracles-yea God)!!!! Whoo hoo! Needless to say I didn't see Bren all day(it was kind of like a festival with lots of people). But when it was over I went to talk to J.C. and walked with him to my car in the far back parking lot, and ours are the only 2 left. As we are chatting by the cars a young man walks out from the shadows of the trees. J.C. introduces him to me as Bren. I was super excited since he was going on the trip with us and I gave him a BIG hug and he says I held his face in my hands for a moment when he told me he was planning to be a MSU student(not a typo, the school changed names=). He thought, "Wow she is friendly". And when he got into the car he said to himself, "I want to marry her." And then thought- you don't even know her! And he shut down his heart from thinking those things.
I didn't have ANY sort of sense of indication at this point that this was the person I was going to marry.

We left a couple days later for Washington, DC: J.C., S.D., L.K., Bren and me. Bren was squished in the back between L.K. and me=) He he, ah, so funny. We had a fun time and I noted that Bren was a great listener and quite serious. (Now if you have ever been to a Call- they are quite serious events of prayer- to his credit) I just wasn't in that mode. We visited Alexandria, VA and I loved seeing the Church where George Washington worshiped, such a beautiful town.
What I noted about Bren during this period was his prayerfulness and seriousness. (Note: I am not the most serious person you have ever met...;) The funny thing is that when I met his middle brother W.E. at the Pre-Call. I had this immediate impression that he was my brother. I felt automatic comradeship... and he felt the same! (Thought it had to do with the Body of Christ deal, didn't realize he would actually be my brother=)

I also met Bren's mother (her name is the derivative of my mom's name=) for a NYMinute at the Call and didn't sense anything about her being my future Momma -in-law=) Bren went home with his family to New England and I went back to SC with JC, SD, and LK...

Side Note: Some of you at this point may have picked up and be wondering... if your Mom said he had a good sense of humor, then why is he so serious? - Well, you are just gonna have to wait;)
First pic of just Bren and I- both thinking, "I hope they don't think this means anything.";)
Read Part II

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Another dream

A few nights ago I had another dream that was quite intense and woke myself up yelling and couldn't remember where I was:

I have deleted the dream, someone gave the interpretation and I now feel it is good to take it off... But you can still pray what I have at the bottom if you like=)
     

I believe the majority of it has to do with intercession. So if any of you want to pray with me for the things following, please read and pray as you agree.
Father, I ask you to heal the hearts of the hurting, soften the hearts of those abusing others and heal them in Jesus' name. We release them to you for judgment Shophet. I thank You Abba for bringing justice to those who have suffered from abuse. Show us how we can join You in bringing righteous judgment to the earth. I pray the Your truth would shine setting the captives free in Jesus' name. I pray for visions and dreams to those that don't yet know You and Your GREAT BIG LOVE!!!!! I love You Lord, help us to see each other with Your lens.
I ask You to raise up people to bring Your protection and to send angels to cover those formally abused with Your feathers, that they may take refuge under Your wings. Show us Your glory in these times Lord! I pray Your perfect love that casts out all fear will infiltrate in the hearts of the hurting. I plead the blood of Jesus over the Muslim women living in abuse, Abba, come and set the captives free in Jesus' name.
AMEN