Sunday, February 17, 2013

Our Story Part 5 - Christmas

Yes, I would like to live free from fear.
"Perfect love casts out fear." If I want to walk in the perfect love of God, I cannot walk in fear. Fear of man, fear of failure, fear of death, fear of being loved... So I repented something like this.

God, I am so sorry for yielding to the fear of being loved, for agreeing with fear. I ask for Your forgiveness and I claim remission of sin. Thank You for sending anything away that came from my agreement in Jesus' name.

Within the next couple days I started to love Bren from my heart. He looked more attractive to me and I wanted to be with him and around him more and more. And my knowing that he was going to be my husband after the first date became a joy, instead of something to cry in despair about.

Then I decided to ask Bren to come home with me for Christmas;) (Thus meeting my wonderful familia).
He said yes and we drove down with my friend Z.I. who we dropped off in Orlando. Bren and I started holding hands on the way down and when we hit Lakeland, where I was planning to drop by and see my Daddy I asked Bren... "So, how should I introduce you to my family?" At this point there was no established relationship "status".
He responded that he didn't like labels. So, I pulled my hand back over to my side and essentially I said this is my friend Bren... Hmmph;)
At my Uncle's for Christmas.
My family received him warmly with winks and such. But that's ok... Bren was concerned that there would be pressure towards marriage if "boyfriend" was used. We had a good Christmas and my family was very loving. Bren was a little on the nervous side and kinda quiet, but that is understandable. It can be hard to be ourselves when you know you are being "observed".;) Until we are fully free in the Lord=) At this point I was trying really hard to allow Bren to be the pursuer and to be pursued. Meaning I don't take the lead. This can be difficult for me, anyone who has taking Ballroom with me knows that I prefer to lead and teach. But it is so important, especially with the Lord, to learn to be a good follower as well. A good leader can follow.
Christmas Eve at Mom and Dad's
When we returned to SC we hung out some more with people and had good conversations and such, and on Dec. 29th he had been initiating the "holding of hands" more so I finally asked, "So am I your girlfriend?" He said, " I certainly hope so."
"Well, you were supposed to ask me..."
"Oh, I didn't know. Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Yes, I will." ::Smile smile::
Now,  you may consider this leading... but he asked the question;) Lol.

But pretty soon, the most intense conversation I had had to that point in my life occurred, and it has some great life lessons...

Part 6

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