Monday, October 25, 2010

Retail Prices and Business

For those of you out there who have not yet ventured into the world of retail I'm going to share with you a change in my mindset towards product pricing.
When I used to look at a product at the store, I would only think of how much it "cost" to make, you know, the materials used in it. And then think of how ridiculously priced things are. And now that my toe is in the water I have had a very real awakening. I have been reading this book called "How to Start a Home-Based Craft Business" and the author, Kenn Oberrecht, gives a very good basic formula for calculating how much each item costs.
Materials + Overhead + Labor +Profit = Price
Seems simple, right?
Labor $10/hour
Time per unit = 5 hours = $50.00
Materials per unit = $8.00
Overhead (indirect costs like your website, lighting, electricity, tools use) = $50 x 10%= $5
Profit = $62 x 10% = $6.20
Price per unit (wholesale!) = $68.20
What?! I seriously didn't ever think about this sort of thing before. I never understood before how many costs are really behind each product! I also realized that my original pricing didn't even include any profit, because I was thinking my labor wage was the profit. Even though the materials in the above scenario was only $8, with the other costs it becomes $62!!
Talk about turning my retail knowledge around! What an awakening!
So how do we have $1 products??? VERY low labor costs...  Which is a whole other topic that I will get into another day.
This past weekend I attended the KBA (Kingdom Business Association) Conference and was rocked (in a good way). I have a greater vision for business than I ever had previously. One great thing that was said by Rick Joyner is about the business advise with which you could never fail. How can you never fail in your business??
1 Corinthians 13:8 he said... "Love Never Fails"
So if you love your products and are passionate about them, you love your employees, you love your suppliers, you love your customers, you love your boss, you love yourself... YOU WILL NEVER FAIL!!!!

Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you!!! Even if your technical business "fails" or goes under, if you conducted it with love, it is everlasting in the Kingdom that counts!
Now that gets me excited about business!!!!! So let's love! Let us love!

Check it out AJoy's Enterprise, LLC or you can read my business blog.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Working on AJoy's Enterprise, LLC

Alright! So, I have an official, Secretary of State recognized business! No seriously, it hasn't necessarily been a dream of mine to have a business, but I'm on a journey of learning. There are lots more forms and complicated things than I ever knew about.
On top of which I am attempting to learn drupal! (A content management system - basically a website template)
My website is far from done but if you want to check it out it is Ajoy's Enterprise, LLC .

Oh yea... so what is my business you ask?
Essentially classes, connecting, and creations(products). So I will be selling things I make, my Mom makes and my friend Monica makes on the site... I have a few products up without pictures yet... That is a process in itself!
It all started at the Atlanta House of Prayer after putting out MANY MANY applications without "success". I said, "Lord, I think I'm missing something here, what do You want me to be working on?" I then saw in my minds eye creative things, sewing projects and such. I was like huh, I typed that out. A month later I had forgotten all about it (strange isn't it how that works) and I was still searching for a job. And I went back over the things I received from AHOP... I was like, oh, well I better get on that. So I have currently in process my Retail Sales License ($50), and my Withholding License for employees (for myself really-FREE - hurray!). Once those go through every month I haves to submit a Tax Form for sales and quarterly a Form (and money) for the employee withholding!
I'm still trying to figure out Form 2553? To file an LLC as an S corp... Oh the Greek!
Now I have put one Item on, but there rules state that I can't lead people to another site where it is sold the same thing. So I will have items that aren't available on my site on my AJoysEnterprise on Etsy  to keep in compliance with their rules.=)

So my journey currently is creating beautiful things with Jesus and selling them. And networking people that have a similar vision. If go to the site and like it talk to me about getting a page link... I am starting the "Connecting/Networking" for Fort Mill/Charlotte/Rock Hill areas.

Again, note that this is a process I am on and I am by far finished. I wonder what God has in store for Bren and I considering he had a business and now I am learning about this whole thing???
I have also made a business blog.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Pet sitting and mental musings!!!

I am pet sitting for a family with 5 bunnies (although they only left 2 behind-one is black and white and the other is tan and a lion head), 1 golden retriever, 2 cats (1 cali and 1 orange) and a turtle.  I will put pictures up once I bring my camera over here=) It has been much fun... I miss being around animals. We ALWAYS had at least 1 cat throughout my life, so it is nice. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Sir Pepo, Sanidad, Toby, and Clair... but I like the other animals too.

So, my sewing machine bust about 3 weeks ago and with the move happening I just haven't gone to get it fixed. But it just so happens that I went to a home-school co-op meeting (I might teach a drama class) and a woman came to offer sewing lessons and mentioned her husband fixed machines. So I'm going to hopefully go tomorrow to see if he can fix my machine. Very nice couple!! What a divine appointment! Thanks Daddy! Hopefully I shall get to sew beside her some day=)

I spent a few hours organizing the new place today=) When that is finished I shall put pictures up for that too=)

The place I am house-sitting has a nice keyboard and I thoroughly enjoyed playing "All I Ask Of You" -(Andrew Lloyd Weber) this morning=) That is one of the most common songs that comes to my head after I ask the Lord what He would like to hear. It really is beautiful. Especially if you think about dialoging with Him=) 

I had a revelation the other day while talking with a very sweet intercessor at my church. When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray Jesus answered, "Our Father which art in heaven (looking up), hallowed be thy name (praising and looking up- getting God's perspective), Thy kingdom come and Thy will be done (looking up - His perspective) on earth (look down to earth and our situations, situations in the world) as it is in heaven (looking back up)." So the model we were given is a lot of looking up, which is how we get God's perspective, then check out what's going on with us, our surroundings and the world, then look right back up and see what He is doing. Jesus told us that He did what He saw the Father doing. So this morning I asked I, What are you doing today?Immediately, an answer came to my mind... Cleaning and organizing. So that's part of what I did today, I was getting our house ready=)
So, it is ok and right to discuss the things going on that aren't good... but don't stay there, and don't start there. I think our prayer meetings would be different if we started with praise and ended meditating on what the Father is doing.
The kind young woman that lived where we just moved to had a quote on her wall "Ask not what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive... then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman
Interesting biography...      Dr Howard Thurman
I found it so profound, I'm putting it here to remember. What makes me come alive? What makes you come alive?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Fear of Rejection and manipulation

Yes, my friends I want freedom to come so much in the hearts of myself and all I love! I want to talk about freedom. For it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. I lived a LOT of my life with rejection and fear of rejection. And I found in my life, that these things are coupled with manipulation and control...
For example: With my friends in middle school and high school I would make a suggestion in such a way to make them feel bad (guilty) if they did not comply with what I wanted. I'm not necessarily talking about "bad" things.
Me: Hey you want to come over Friday?
Friend: Uh, I'm not sure, I told so and so I would come over this weekend and I don't know if my parents would let me do both.
Me: Aw, come on, we would have a lot of fun. (manipulation, my friends, we can call it like it is) Don't you want to spend time with me?
[what is the fruit of this question for the "friend"? think about it]
Friend: Of course I do, but I already told so and so that I would hang out with them.
Me: Well, that's ok, I will just ask _______ to come over...
Hurting people, hurt people.
The examples could go on and on... The reality is I did this sort of stuff on a DAILY basis, yuck, Lord deliver us from ALL fear, refection, manipulation, and control.
When I was afraid of being rejected I would say things to get people to feel bad if they didn't do what I wanted. That is manipulation! The other thing I want to shine some light on is the deception that manipulation is loving. It is NOT. What is so marvelous about God is that HE gives us free choice. He loves our worship that is given freely.
2 Cor 5:14-15 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
If we are living for Christ, then if people reject us it won't wound our hearts. We can be free, friends. Tell rejection NO!!!! IF I am living for Christ and not myself if someone spits in my face and calls me a bad name, I can look at them through God's lens and see the brokenness and feel only compassion in my heart for them by the power of His Love! That's where I want to be. God help us get there!  How do we get there? Seek God, and find out who you are... that's who He has created you to be=)

According to the Collins English dictionary manipulation is: to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously 

So our first step into freedom from these things is to be aware of them in your life. I was not aware that my coercing people to come to my bible study in college was bad. Honestly! I was praised for my ability to get people to do things!!! I did not know it was wrong. It wasn't until my last year of college that I was convicted that what I was doing was manipulation and that it was wrong. (I was in a deliverance class). So I repented, I confessed this to God as a sin and asked Him to heal my heart and cleanse me. Part of the root of why I did it was fear of rejection, I repented for that too. Another part of it was not trusting God. What do I mean?
I was manipulating people to come to Bible Study, because I didn't trust God to lead them there... Whoo buddy! Can you feel the freedom coming?? I recommend a proclamation here, "I trust You God, please show me, Father, what You are doing so I can join You in Your work." The reality is if God is calling you or me to lead a bible study and 1 person comes... AMEN!!!! If 20 people come... AMEN!!!! God's concern isn't numbers, Beloved, it's hearts. Are we trusting Him to do His part. He leads us, and guides us into all truth. Those impressions you get in your heart, those leadings, He talks to you, Beloved.

So now I have repented (and I just repented today for this too 6 years later), asked for cleansing, and I am on the lookout for these nasty things. Wow, they were everywhere!!!! Yucky manipulation came out of my mouth every day, I had to keep repenting and turning to God for mercy... But you know what, I started proclaiming that I was accepted and loved by God, so when I perceived I was being rejected, I took that thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ! By golly things began to change, and those pesky thoughts of rejection stopped coming around so heavily. Whoo hoo!
Romans 15: 7- Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.
His acceptance is worth more than anyone else's, and Beloved, you have it, the glory of God=)
Rejoice that your name is written in the book of life (if it is written there, you need Jesus to have it).
So, be free, and let others be free to make choices of their own free will, no "strings" or guilt attached. 
I pray as you read this that Holy Spirit will bring more revelation in Jesus' wonderful name. 

P.S. We are all moved and stuff!!! Hurray and thank you to all the helpers, I'll post pictures once we have the house in order, ha ha=)


Saturday, July 17, 2010

Warning Dream

So, last night/this morning I had a very intense dream/encounter. The dream will be in black and the part of interpretation that I have will be in pink. Beware, I woke up crying and, here it goes...
(I am being vague with names in purpose)
It started at Busch Gardens (a theme park in Tampa- that I LOVE!), but it didn't really look like Busch Gardens. I was with My Aunts and Uncles on my dad's side minus one (G) (I had a sense that the children G&N were there, but I can't remember seeing them now. And HP and JM were there also. We were waiting in line and then I saw that UncT had shown up all of a sudden, so he joined UncL and us where we were in line. We started getting to where the ride is and there were baby turkeys running around with a momma and I was told be a worker not to pick them up, that it was the wrong thing to do. We proceeded onto a platform and were told there was a competition and HP and I began to dance and it turned into a hula dance and we were laughing and having fun. It began to pour down rain, so everyone that was in line was then gone, but we remained on the ride.
 I'm not clear if there was a winner... the rest of this part is blurred in my memory.

Then we were moved down a sidewalk queue into the next ride.
A lot of things that seem innocent may lead you down a wrong path. Father, give us discernment!
I stopped and looked and said, I'm not going there. (I don't remember seeing anything to indicate what kind of ride it was, but I knew it had to do with vampires). HP and JMwas very supportive of my sentiments and we walked the other way to get back to the main sidewalk. (I think the rest of the fam came to, but they kind of faded from my picture). So I waited and said I would pray for those who came out of the ride if they wanted prayer. (I remember consciously at this point praying off all unfruitful works of darkness and prayer on the armor of God in Ephesians 6).
I sat on a stone wall and waited for a few moments.
Perhaps, I sat on the Rock?
 Then people began to exit from the ride. They were very pale and had a mission. Several of them were people I knew from church. They kept coming up to me and asking me to bite them.
I had to make the choice to bite them, because they couldn't touch me without my consent.
A man/vampire came and sung over me seductively asking me to bite him. (This was rather creepy). So I decided to climb up higher on this wall near where I was sitting to watch and pray.
Mat 26:41 "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

At this point a girl (in the natural a very sweet, loving Christian) I know came up where I was and sat next to me. She had gone through the ride. She was naked, she told me she didn't want to bite me and started talking about plans she had to get someone's house. She wanted to get this man to pick her up and take her home, forcing him and his roommates to leave out of propriety, because she was naked. (People are still moving around trying to find "converts" below us")
Matthew 24:12 Because lawlessness is increased,  most people's love will grow cold.

I didn't say anything back to her, but I wanted out of the dream(conscious) but I couldn't open my eyes. I tried to scream out and in my head I was but nothing was coming out. I was laying with my hands above my head and I couldn't move them. I tried to make noise to alert Bren to come to me, but he wasn't coming. Finally I started to voice out "Jesus" but it was very quiet. I could finally open my eyes and I could lift my head, I kept repeating, "Jesus" until it got louder. And then I started to say, "Bren, Bren , BREN!" And he heard me and came in, and I was crying at this point. And then I told him the dream and he prayed. 

I realized that part of the dream has to do with the rising obsession with the Twilight serious. It is very evil, and there is a lot of deception masking it from people. I used to have a deep fascination with witchcraft, vampires, and other evil things. Someone told me they don't watch those sort of things (movies about witches), and I thought they were immature. But it was interesting to me that in middle school someone had a conviction not to watch these movies that me and my friends so enjoyed. (I don't know if you can remember middle school - but it was all about trying to fit in). I admire him very much for standing firm in what he knew was right. He knew people that had experienced spiritual encounters (not the good kind) and as a result knew there truly is a spiritual realm. I am saying this to say that I remember wanting to see scary movies and had tons of fears. But now, it almost makes me sick even seeing commercials for things.  
I was watching Full House while babysitting a few weeks ago on abc family! and was look at something else not paying attention anymore and felt evil, I look at the screen and I saw a very pale faced young man with a red tint in his eye, and I quickly changed the channel. It was a new series called vampire diaries on the FAMILY channel!!!!!!!!!! 
Amo 5:14Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is.
Church let us wake up!!!! God help us wake up, take deception of our eyes so that we can see clearly. I repent for calling evil good, and filling my eyes with evil things. Oh God I'm so sorry, I want to see You! I want to see You, and Your glory, and Your righteousness. Help me think on what is pure and lovely and excellent and praiseworthy! 
Isa 5:20Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.

Hbr 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.It 
isn't always obvious what is evil, we must train for this.  

I do not want to bring condemnation Beloved of God! But Freedom! Freedom to love light and purity and righteousness. Repentance is not a bad word! It means a turning in our hearts toward God and His Beautiful Kingdom. Last night was a wake up call for me, and I hope it is for you too. I love you and He loves you and desires your wholeness and freedom more than you!

 ADDITION on 4/9/2011:
Also, one of my friends after reading this was being taught by the Lord about the co-dependency happening in the Church. Part of "vampirism" is sucking blood, our life source. We cannot be sucking the life out of the people around us. Our life source is Jesus, He is the Way, the Truth AND the Life. In order to have healthy relationships and friendships and marriages, our life source cannot be fulfilled in each other. Only Christ. I had a problem with fear of rejection, which in turn caused a need to manipulate and control people. And when rejection and fear of rejection had a hold on my I was constantly looking for validation in others and ensuring people liked me, wanted to hang out with me, thought good things about me, etc... So let us continue checking our hearts... Are we relying on Jesus to tell us who we are and give us encouragement (sometimes through people- but recognizing it's source) or solely people? Even with prophetic words it is important to be gracious and appreciative when someone gives us encouragement, always remembering the source of life.

Eph 5:1-16 NASB - Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
 For this reason it says, "Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you."
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
2Th 2:1-12 NASB - Now we request you, brethren, with regard to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our gathering together to Him, that you not be quickly shaken from your composure or be disturbed either by a spirit or a message or a letter as if from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has come.
Let no one in any way deceive you, for it will not come unless the apostasy comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction, who opposes and exalts himself above every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, displaying himself as being God.
 And you know what restrains him now, so that in his time he will be revealed.
 For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only he who now restrains will do so until he is taken out of the way.
 Then that lawless one will be revealed whom the Lord will slay with the breath of His mouth and bring to an end by the appearance of His coming; that is, the one whose coming is in accord with the activity of Satan, with all power and signs and false wonders, and with all the deception of wickedness for those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved.
 For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false,
 in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hurray!! We are moving!

So we have finally secured a residence in SC... Only 2 weeks before we need to be out of here(our apartment in Charlotte). SC - the land where you can have babies at home. I watched the Business of Being Born yesterday, wow! Seriously! I have watched it before, but it really is a good documentary.

And the very sweet landlord (at our new place) accepts Sir Pepo's and fish! Great news, great news!

When I was praying previously (over 2 months ago) about where we should live, I kept picturing this place. But it just seemed that it wasn't going to happen... So after a month of contacting, we are going to be able to get it!!!

As my current home group leader states, often times when you have a clear word you have to fight more for it... And we did, and we are over-comers. Me, being the planning woman that I am, had a much harder time than my Beloved Bren. Ha!
So I am working on my children's book currently, and I have finished 4 childrens lady bug aprons. Hand painted too!!!I thought they were very cute=) God helps me with ideas;)

Friday, July 9, 2010


"Notes from Larry Krieder's teaching on disappointment"
Bren sent this to me (and we heard him speak at Morningstar) This is a sequence work sheet from Larry Krieder (Pastor from PA really into small groups, very kind man=)

-unmet expectations
-forgive, learn, receive God's grace
-start getting negative about God

 the next steps are sure to follow unless you go back to the red at any point!!!

-final form of doubt
-starts with root of bitterness
Bottom line:
forgive yourself

I found this all very helpful!!!! Hope you do to=) The Bible says whoever believes in Jesus does not disappoint. Romans 9:43 -
As my friend Jenna Bug explained to me=) (For the first time the light bulb went on for me and I was able to release things to God and forgive myself) This doesn't say what we think Jesus will do may disappoint us, what we think He won't do, what we perceive Him to do won't disappoint... If our hope is in Jesus and who He is, will not be disappointed. I pray healing comes with this e-mail, and as we read it the eyes of our hearts will be enlightened. I thank You Father for the truth that we know that sets us free. Blinders off, in Jesus' name for all of us, that we can see God the Father,Jesus, and Holy Spirit as You are. May also Your Spirit of wisdom and revelation come upon us to know who You are. I love you Lord, You!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Here Fishy Fishy - God is really cool!

So, at Bren and My wedding we had live fish in the centerpiece bowls. I wanted goldfish - gold to represent the glory=) And I originally wanted 2 per bowl, but it was not recommended...
Anyhoo - so after the honeymoon we wanted to get one of those fish from someone, but I didn't want to take them from John, and I didn't know who else got them.
Bren and I decided to go to the pet store and we ended up getting Sir Pepo (see below) instead of fish and continued to look on Craigslist for a great deal on a tank.
So, Kevin, who works in Bren's office and also did (fabulous) photos for our wedding mentioned getting rid of a 10 gallon tank with 3 fish and gravel, a plaAdd Imagent, filter and food for a great deal.
After Bren texted to see if this was a good idea he told him we would take the fish.
But behold, 11 months after getting married, Kevin says one of the fish was from our wedding!!!!!! He got the other 2 to be companions for it!!!! Isn't that awesome????!!!!

Well the orange one, we named Sanidad for healing in Spanish, the dark one is Toby, and the white one is Clair which in French means "light".Add Image
Thanks God!!! You are full of loving-kindness!!!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Keep getting called the wrong name?

So pretty much as long as I can remember, people have called me "Heather". Family reunions, friends, family friends, church members, etc... I thought it was because I have to sisters with "H" names... Heidi and Holly. But the first time someone called me "Heather" when they had no knowledge of my family at all and I had written my correct name down for them I began to think differently about this.
I went home to look up what it means: Blooming.
Interesting? Maybe, just maybe, the LORD is trying to tell me something. It has happened again several times recently from friends and I believe that God is giving me a message that I am blooming=)
So, if people keep calling you a name that isn't yours, look up what it means and find the message.
Shalom! And beware of offense it isn't worth it=)
Keep getting called the wrong name? There is no shame, perhaps the Lord has a message to say=)
Also, note the the Redeemer Lives - the One that makes things better than if it hadn't happened at all. The Mother of Jesus, the Messiah, was named Mary - which means bitterness and rebellion and yet she was chosen for her obedience=) So even if you don't like the original meaning, give it to the One who loves you so much so He can turn it for good=)

Saturday, May 22, 2010


I have really been thinking about the beauty of mystery. Being with Bren is like continually solving mysteries. I am very happy that there was so much mystery when we got married. There were many things I didn't know, and things I have yet to discover. About who I am, who God is, who Bren is.
I have moments of wishing I was even more naive before we were wed. I think why I wanted to write this is to implore the young to keep some mystery. It really is a lie that you need to have everything figured out involving marriage before it happens. What a beautiful journey I get to partake in. I am also writing this to implore anyone reading this who isn't married and feels like there is no mystery left, or those that are married and feel like there is no mystery left... There are still things that are to be discovered about who you truly are, beautiful things. And if you aren't married, do not arouse or awaken love until it is the right time. Keep your mystery. It is the glory of Kings (and Queens) to search it out. Jesus longs to wash us and cleanse us, pure as snow. Pure as the glistening, sun reflecting, snow.
Please do not receive condemnation, but life and love and freedom!

What an adventure we get to have...

Monday, May 10, 2010

Sir Pepo and being married

Run ALL night and sleep ALL day, this is the lot of our hamster's life. He is really cute though...
I'm glad to have the animal presence again. I grew up with cats constantly in our home. It almost feels as though there is a void when no animal is near. Hurray for Sir Pepo!

This being married is great! My life feels so strangely natural to being married. The grace of God is apparent, because even though living with a man is very different than the houses with roommates and at home. There is much peace and joy also. God is so great to join to different people together to make us more like Him. Such a brilliant plan.

So, since my engagement ring broke while moving our stuff into the apartment (which I felt awful about because Bren's cousin Joey did a beautiful job putting the heart spescerite garnet into the heart fixins- but the stone was already cracked- he was concerned about it) Bren got me a new ring. And so we celebrated being married 9 months on Saturday!!!!
Bren surprised me and took me to Carowinds for both our first time and we rode the Intimidater, which was an awesome roller-coaster. I really like the Night Hawk though, where you go through the coaster on your back and backwards (at night)... That my friends, was GREAT!!!! Hurray, so Bren very sweetly surprised me on the whirlybird snoopy ride and gave me a beautiful ring with Bren and Amber Joy engraved in it! It has two hearts, one garnet and one white topaz.

Thank You Lord for my wonderful husband!

We had a lovely Saturday and a lovely Mother's Day with Nancy and Corie to dote on while their children are not near, and our Mother's are gone. We had a great High Tea... And Bren decided he likes High Tea=) Hurray! Momma brought me a beautiful tea cup when her and Daddy came to visit, it sits in our beautiful China cabinet they brought also!
Time for bed here....

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Personal Relationship with God?

Oftentimes I feel like I don't really know about His love. I truly want God's love flowing in me and through me, but I feel as if I don't have it fully in my heart.
In 1 John 4 it says "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
To quote Foreigner, "I want to know what love is, I want You to show me. I want to feel what love is, I know You can show me." I started learning that on the guitar... God definitely shows me love in my life. My family still loves me (from afar, but they do) and my husband loves me, and I know the Source of Love is the One who is Love=) I am thankful for this.
Thank You Abba for showing me love, could we take it to the next level. Heal my heart so I can feel and receive Your love just You straight to me. You are good, and I want to believe that with all my heart.
doubt and unbelief go in Jesus' name!

I know believing is a spiritual thing. And reasoning and Holy Spirit aren't necessarily synonymous. I have seen so much and seen answers to many prayers, my goodness. Thank You Lord!!! For Real.

Little Testimony time for the reader: I was saved ( I dedicated my life to Jesus and asked Him to live inside of me) and baptized (fully dunked in water symbolizing the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus and professing my faith to the congregation) when I was 10 years old. I know (now) God accepted me into His family at this point, I just didn't feel any different. So I thought He didn't accept my offer if you will.
So even though I still attended church (different than I was baptized in) I never felt the reality of God, was tormented with depression, anger, doubt, and fear (among other things). I was told that there was a "personal relationship with Jesus Christ". Boy, did I want that! I just didn't seem to really see anyone talk about that relationship from a personal level. Yes, we sang songs in church, I was much too distracted on the actual songs to focus on God though. And I didn't know how to do that. I heard much talk about God, and some to God, but I never heard anybody talking about what the LORD told them. So from 11 yrs old to 14ish I was not in a good state mentally and depression was much more real to me than the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
I kind of gave up on the personal relationship because all my crying out to God in my times of mental torment didn't really seem to avail any answers from El Shaddai (name of God meaning God Almighty).
Then my precious friend Monique opened up her bible en la clase de espaƱol in high school. Now I know God sent her to me, but at the time I was really looking for a personal alone time answer from Him. Something was different about her. It was like she knew God was real, I mean for real. So she began leading a Bible study, she has an amazing gift of teaching, and I was inspired to actually start reading the Bible again. She did this for about 2 years of High School and really kept me seeking the LORD. I still didn't know how I could have a personal relationship with God where I could hear Him talking. Now, keep in mind I am expecting that how God speaks is this voice that sounds like a deep male voice inside my head clearly apart from anything else in my head.
So when I graduated from HS ( in Tampa, FL) I was still very insecure about the reality of God and having a relationship with Him. But only known to myself. Everyone else believed me a very stable and believing Christian. (In reality of God in Christ that was who I was, but I was also tormented by fear and doubt and unbelief still in the quiet times)... To be continued at some point...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Putting on...

Col 3:12
So, as you have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, gentleness and patience.
God empowers us to put on compassion, kindness, gentleness and patience... what does this look like?
How can I put on a hear of compassion? I think the first part gives us a hint... We have been chosen, it is a choice we make. When I really don't feel like being kind because someone has done something to upset me, I can chose kindness instead of bitterness. When someone says all kinds of evil against me, I can chose to be gentle instead of offended. When someone is purposely testing my nerves... I can chose patience, put on patience instead of impatience and aggravation.
Help me chose these beautiful things You have put inside of us Father in Jesus' name. And I repent for my impatient attitude, bitterness and taking offenses by Jesus' blood. Forgive me and I ask You to send away anything of this carnal nature far from me in Jesus' name. Thank You for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for helping us walk in supernatural love.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Let love reign, not accusation.

I was a little sad earlier reading someone's response to the Final Quest written by Rick Joyner. Perhaps it is because I have the privilege to hear this man on a weekly basis present his heart for God, and helping equip the Church.

Father, please help to keep us from fault-finding and accusation.

What do you think it looks like to hear or read something that we don't agree with? What is the Godly response? Truly, I'm asking. I recognize the bible says in Matthew "Do not judge, lest ye be judged, for the measure you use, it shall be measured back to you." (If you really want where the refences are just reply and I'll them)
In this book it talks about seeing Christians beating each other with swords... How often do we in the Church do that? God help us! What was JEsus' response when the people brought the woman caught in adultery before him? He said, "You are without sin shall cast the first stone." They all left realizing there brokenness.

Father, help me not forget where I have come from to stand in true humility. Help me to see who I am in you so that I can keep going forward.

If I am judging someone in a sin, then I am likely to fall into it myself. This attitude infects the mind with pride. I know I have been deep in it.
What would it be like if we did Galatians 6:1 "Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.

Restoration is God's business and He is mighty good at it. He doesn't see you as you perceive yourself, but as He created you to be. He knows the end from the beginning, we are all in need of His restoration. Please church, let us stop siding with the accuser of the brethren and the One that speaks life to our dry bones. Like Rick Joyner says, "the bible doesn't say humble your neighbor." God asks us to humble ourselves.
Let love reign! If you are alive, there is hope for you!